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FIVE YEAR GRAVE

by Jamison Dewlen

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1.
Final Form 05:32
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2.
Crooked Dream 04:06
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3.
Storm 04:37
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4.
Five Year Grave 03:15
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5.
Holy Eyes 04:12
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6.
October 04:49
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7.
Molding 04:46
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8.
Translucent Mind 03:56
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9.
Red Mo(u)rning 04:55
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10.
Wanting You 04:01
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11.
Auroratone 03:49
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about

This album is the sequel to “Four Year Collapse” and was finished while I was undergoing psychotherapy. The majority of the songs had been written before then and a few more sort of spilled out of me as I worked through my trauma. It has been quite the journey, to say the least.

In 2016, I had a psych evaluation and was diagnosed with PTSD. Up until that point I went through a five year period of merely surviving. I had no clue what was going on with me or how to cope. During this period I couldn’t get out of bed for weeks at a time, told God to get lost and tried to commit suicide twice. After two failed suicide attempts, I started drinking heavily. The only reason I’m alive today is because of a divine appointment with the right therapist.

While I was finishing this album, I wondered what it was all for, other than some sort of therapeutic experience for me. At the time, I happened to be reading Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace and finally realized that, ultimately, it’s all about helping other people feel less alone. Because, there’s a certain vernacular that evolves when you’ve been down in the proverbial hole. I believe that this particular vernacular is a big part of this album just like it’s a big part of Infinite Jest.

David Foster Wallace committed suicide on September 12, 2008. The front cover of this album is a picture of his house in Illinois, where he finished Infinite Jest. As of today, David Foster Wallace still remains my favorite author, with Salinger being a close second. Unfortunately, I don’t think DFW ever made it out of the proverbial hole, from which, I believe and hope I have made my ascent.

This is definitely an emotionally heavy album, but I hope the heaviness of it helps people like myself feel a little bit lighter. However, if you have never been down in the proverbial hole, I hope that this album can help you understand the complexity of situations, like mine, that such a staggering number of people find themselves in. May this album be a light to help you navigate things such as these with someone close to you, God forbid you ever need to.

Thank you for your support of this album. I hope you enjoy the music, as well as the honesty inside it. A lot of tears were poured into this one.

credits

released January 30, 2023

All songs written, produced, performed, engineered, mixed and mastered by Jamison Dewlen.

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Jamison Dewlen Seattle, Washington

View full bio and discography below @ jamisondewlenmusic.com

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